


When they were silent

by Paragosm



Category: Original Work, Zenfrena
Genre: Character Death, Eating Disorders, Implied Rape/Non-con, Past Child Abuse, Past Child Murder, Sad, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Wow this is dark, implied prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-22 20:56:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18535336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paragosm/pseuds/Paragosm
Summary: A little dark series of shorts stories about my charecters.NOTE: Any Zenfrena content is likely to not be a current version





	When they were silent

Crispus looked at Habruin, the young male's eyes filled with more grief than any twelve years old's should. His mother, and now Monte...at that, Crispus choked on a sob. The boy regarded him as a father, and his brother as an uncle. Crispus could not be weak.

“Why?” came the broken voice. “Why? Why him?” Habruin looked at Crispus. “Why, Adaneth?” The boy's gold eyes shone with tears, the drops streaming down his face. He was looking at Crispus looked he held all the answers in the world. Crispus had an answer, he had many of them. You did not live as long as he had and not lose anyone. But he never thought he would lose him... he shook his head. He sat down next to Habruin

(Named after his dead uncles, who had committed suicide. To this day he wanted to walk to a newspaper, a news station, anything, and tell them, give them evidence, Habrin had been living a lie for so, so long..)

He hugged him, held him close. Tell him, reassure him, do not make him wait, grieving is fine, it is natural. He shut off the screaming in his brain. 'Later” he thought 'later'.

A few years later, as he walked into a room, and saw that Habruin, the sweet boy he had raised lying on the floor, pulse slow, so, so slow, seemingly more blood on the floor than in him. Later had become never, and now, he had to make sure he could tell him. You should have told him, maybe he wouldn't be here, you idiot, your baby's on the floor, he slit his wrists, please hold on, I need to tell you, pleasepleaseplease...

*******************  
Habrin had been roped into this. It was better than talking in front of a huge crowd, a crowd that wanted answers. He had answered the cut and dry questions for the news interview as best as he could.

He had insisted on them using his name, I prefer you to do that (my father didn't use it as much)  
“Do you know why someone would shoot him?””No, he had no true enemies” (do you believe people like he was deserve to live?)

“Are you afraid the killer might come after you?””No, they would have killed me by now if they wanted to kill me.” (Oh, the irony is not lost on me)

“The speech was about your mother's sudden death, so why weren't you there? I mean no offense””It's fine. I was in no shape to be seen. Her death hit me hard.” (I was trying not to vomit at that waste of oxygen pretending he cared)

“So, you were in your quarters?””Yes, I got the news not long after his death.” (I was on a ledge I had found as a child. One of the brothers I had that you don't know existed showed it to me, actually. You know, Hyrax, the one you don't know was only a month older than me, the one you don't know my father beat to death. It just so happened it faced the balcony that my father was giving a speech on)

“You don't seem to upset about his death? Why is that?””I was never really close to him, he was always busy.”(I danced on his grave the night after he was buried. Among other things.)

“Ah. I see, well, no one is perfect. How do you feel about how he died? It was obvious that the assassin wanted to send some sort of message.””It seemed to be overkill, and your observation is most likely correct.” (I thought the noise the bullet made when it entered and exited his skull was satisfying. The wall looked rather nice, his brains painting it and all.)

“That cut on your face looks new, and deep. How did you get it?””Ah, that is an embarrassing story. I may tell it later, but not now.” (Hajun, Lord Perfection, smashed a wine bottle against my face. I said something that was enough to for him to mar my perfection.)

“I see. How is Amasan? You two's marriage was quite the gossip fodder a few years back, if I remember correctly.””She is fine. Shaken, but fine. As you can imagine, my father never really cared for her, or her for him.” (She's terrified. She knew I wanted to kill him, but didn't think I actually would.)

The interview carried on, every question answered, ever answer accompanied by an internal scream. (They will never know, they can never know, oh Goddess watch over my brother's souls, let them sleep, and let him burn)

*********************

Avery wasn't quiet. He wouldn't suffer, not without a fight. He fought Habruin, 'I'm engaged to someone else' and 'You're selling me to her because of a dead man's deal' and 'I am not marrying for anything but love' and he lost. 

He told her. He told Sierra that 'he didn't love her, he never would' and 'this doesn't need to be strained, I'm willing to be your friend' and 'I was engaged to someone else, ok?' and 'I'm not putting a leash on you, you are free to find someone who actually loves you, I will be doing the same' and 'What? No! Never!' and he lost again.

Years past. He suffered silently now. He learned that 'no, stop' and 'please, stop it' and 'let go' and 'get your hands off of me' and 'screaming, screaming' didn't work on Sierra.  
He smiled at his friends, and told them 'I'll be fine, I'm ok' and 'no, where did you get that idea?' and 'Oh, I'm just a little cold, it's fine' and they believed him. 

He didn't tell anyone. "How are you doing?""Well, I'm doing fine!" I lied, I'm dying inside. "Avery, are you cold again?"''Yeah, it's weird, right?" I burned my arms again last night, and the day before I slit some lines. "Aves, don't your cheeks hurt?'"'A little, but I'm just so happy!" The biggest smiles are fake.

He learned when to tell when others were faking it. 'don't give me that, Axl, you need to rest' and 'hey, Jasper, it's ok to be hurt' and 'you need to eat something Cobalt, I know what your job is, and your addictions aren't healthy, but I'm not gonna judge, Cobalt.'

He was good at helping others. 'stay strong, Austin, you can choose your friends, and you can choose your family, just hold on' and 'don't do it, Saph, I'm coming, don't you dare, we love you, I'm calling the ZLE's, hold on' and 'shut up, Habruin, and let me help you, you're in so much pain' and 'I'm bailing you out Cobalt, they shouldn't be able to do this.'

He looked into Cobalt's dead eyes, his body a skeleton, and told him 'don't do this' and let him sleep in his lap, chasing all his nightmares away from his sick head. 

He held Austin, Saph, Axl, JasperZuluRianacobaltadynecarisco close, telling them that they shouldn't have to be hated like this and that he didn't sierseking care what anyone said.  
And he meant it. He meant it all, Hezekiah's bones, but why did he still hate himself and why did he try to kill himself and 'I need help' and 'get away from me' and 'why do I break down like this' and 'weak, weak, weak' filled his head. 

********************

Cobalt's eyes and frame were empty. “I'll kill you!” was snarled after him more times than he could count. 'Darling, I'm already dead' he thought. “You never stood a chance” was said, laughing, biting, snarled, sad, pitying, oh how many ways it was said. 

'I did once' came out some deep part of him, and he shoved that small quiet voice down. When they asked what was wrong, he wanted to answer. He didn't. 

'Oh, honey' he said to the girl who had stopped were he was sitting, 'I'm not tellin' ya that story. You wanna sleep tonight, little 'un.'

Oh, Cobalt carried the weight of the world on his shoulders and the weight of so, so many others, dead, alive, wheezing, bleeding, blown open, torn apart, in his arms. His hair turned white, but he dyed it. He had scars, he got tattoos. He didn't eat, he limped, he vomited, but he hid it. 

 

“I want to go home.” 'And I want to get out of here, but it ain't happening, sugar.' “We'll try and get you home.”  
******************

He had hid it for years. He'd been silent. Told himself it was just a crush, that it would go away. And now...”I love you.” Zulu whispered, setting down the flowers, and putting his forehead on the headstone. He ran his fingers down the name on the headstone. Habrin Cole Criellen.

*****************


End file.
